I have been fighting depression on and off for nearly 10 years. I never thought it would happen to me and prior to my diagnosis, I had little empathy and no sympathy for those whom I knew were already suffering. It was a bitter life lesson, indeed. Those times when the black fog descends over me and steals my tongue, my passions or my very interests in life, I am unable and unwilling to see any positivity around me and my inclination towards the path of suicidal thoughts has been often.
I understand that both the path to depression, and of course the path out of it, is varied, and no two situations are mirrored. When I have been in a better space, I am usually able to reason with myself and have attempted a number of things to help restore my confidence and faith in myself. These have included music, art and writing, and more recently in assisting others through life’s darkest paths where I can. Very recently, I donated blood for the first time in my life and that simply gesture, and the gratitude I received because of it, went a long way to restoring some self-worth. It also came with a little surprise – I received my Red Cross Donor Card in the mail today and I found out my blood type is B+. I read this as a hidden message to me: Be Positive.
I know I am respected and loved, and that I have many talents that others do not. Despite knowing this, when I am depressed I am usually unable to accept these things as reality. For those of you who know me though, I am grateful for your friendship and for those things you do for me to assist me to see that the glass is half full.
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