You know what it's like, you aspire to the top job, you work hard, keep out of trouble(ish), put yourself in front of the right people, and then it happens! You immerse yourself in the role to be the best you can be, and to really make a difference. Two years later the seeds of doubt start to germinate, all is not as it seemed. Unsure as to why we soldier on. In my case the 'soldiering on' resulted in a total denial of any problem, except of course for my own failings and short comings. The constant self-talk/self-criticism; the pretence that all is good; the endless round of 'bon-homie' and smiles on the outside, versus turmoil and angst on the inside! How long can the human mind cope with this onslaught of conflict and dilemma. In my case just under 12 months, at which time one would imagine that the 'volcanic plug would be jettisoned asunder, the steam, lava and volcanic ash erupting, amidst a thunderous cascade of emotion!!' In reality the outcome was serene and peaceful, albeit complete and utter mental paralysis, with just as dramatic an impact as if it had been a hitherto dormant volcano erupting. Laptop, files, notepads, projects 'A to Z' piled high, none making any sense, a complete inability to press a laptop key, let alone open a file or make a note. Total and absolute paralysis, at only 9.30am on a very ordinary weekday morning in September 2004.

Should this lead up to my initial anxiety episode sound familiar, then do not despair, as 'Awareness' is absolutely key. Even though I was 'hopelessly unaware', help was at hand, which is now my primary motivation to share! Without doubt there is light at the end of the tunnel! The Glass is always Half Full!
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